How many times do we rely on "other people" to make us feel good? "Other things" to make us feel good?
“We’ll be happy when we see xx, when we hear xx, or when we get xx”.
If you listen to conversations around you - really listen, you might be surprised at how often this actually plays out… with others, and more importantly with ourselves!
The problem here? Most of these elements are out of our control. We’re relying on the environment around us to make us feel good!!?? Or feel a certain way - whether it’s good, excited, or humbled – whatever it may be to you, we all too often rely on the environment to allow us feel that way.
This came to me watching yachts sailing in the bay - one day they can be at full sail, absolutely flying along at a million miles an hour, and the next day the same vessel can be almost becalmed... Why is this? No surprises here - I am stating the obvious… it is in deed the wind! The pace of a yacht is (generally speaking) determined by the speed of the wind. By the environment it sails in.
In a very similar way - we often rely on the environment we sail in to determine the pace we go, the feelings we feel. Whether it be the "people" in our environment, or the "things" in our environment, they can impact our pace and how we feel. Makes sense, nothing new here.
But here’s a thought… what if we could be the ‘wind in our own sails’? Determining how fast we go, how much ground we cover, and ultimately how we feel?
What’s stopping us? What’s stopping you? Imagine…
- Waking up in the morning and thinking to yourself "today is going to be a good day, because I’m going to make it so"
- As you get that job done, or win that piece of work you give yourself a little well deserved "high 5"
- Giving yourself a little fist pump at the start of a race as you re-assure yourself "I can do this!"
These are pretty simple little things right? On the flip side – you can absolutely take the wind out of your own sails, and I think people tend to do this more than the positive use of it.
Down talk themselves, be hard on themselves, tell themselves why they can’t do something… If you’ve done this before (I don’t doubt we all have) then you should know how it works. Take the wind out of your own sails, and it doesn't feel so good...
Let’s not do that. Let’s let the sails out and use the power of this concept for the better!
I’m not suggesting we all get round in bubbles, I most certainly appreciate the incredible impact we can all have on each other. And the environment around us naturally does have an impact on us.
What I am suggesting is that we don’t rely completely on the environment around us to dictate how we feel, what pace we go at. It’s the environment within us we can control.
Whether it’s the jib… the main sail… the spinnaker...
BE THE WIND IN YOUR OWN SAILS.
Even aim for a bit of trapeze action now and then! Only YOU can truly make this happen.
(Originally published - 14th April, 2016)